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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Brandon's Filthy Filosophies


Cupid's a huge prick.

Don't confuse that with his prick--that's quite small. In fact, it's so small that he hasn't even nailed a nice Asian girl for me to call my war bride. As we approach Valentine's day, I'm reminded that the holiday was fabricated and that St. Valentine was stoned, clubbed, beaten and beheaded as a martyr.

And that chocolate is increasingly expensive. It's been a long time since I had to (read: had the opportunity to) celebrate a famous beheading with a girl. Don't misinterpret my cynicism; no one likes spending vast amounts of money on a fancy dinner more than me, but perhaps in that past I've made the mistake of waiting for the Valentine's massacre to cue a fancy dinner.

 Do yourself a favor, men: remind your girl that every day is a holiday with her--except March 18th, that's the day you buy me gifts, not her. Let Cupid fire a volley once a month or every other month--I guarantee she won't enact any "prohibition" laws.

-Brandon

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